Where have I been all my life?

Did you know that 2013 was the year of content marketing? Well, praise the lord and pass the ammunition! Let’s take e-strategy and slap a new name on it and that will make it new and exciting. Let’s put together some content development teams and do some corporate back slapping, push it out and get some spray. Spray! Sounds appealing doesn’t it? Let’s just spray ’em with this stuff and go to lunch. Now we’re starting to understand that audiences don’t want to be talked at. We’re realizing that instead of pushing we need to attract. We need to educate and help our audiences. We realize now that if we do something useful for our customers, they’ll do something useful for us. The brand forward approach doesn’t work anymore. You have to reach out and give helpful information even if your competition benefits from it.  As they say, a rising tide..

For years, marketers were fearful of taking that leap of faith because of brand guidelines and traditional market research. Now that’s all changed. Customers have lots of choices and lots of companies whispering in their ear. Yes, it’s here. Finally. But it will not be easy. We have to re-think our approach to communicating, educating and helping our audiences.We need to create content that is personal, familiar and interesting. It’s called engagement. It’s called thought leadership.

You’ve got to give a little to get a little.

If you’ve made it this far down the page and think you can endure more of this nonsense, click the subscribe button and get free delivery. You can also leave a comment with suggestions  on where I can get professional help. Thanks. E.R.

Hi, can I check you out?

Notice the similarities? “Can I have your card? Would you like paper or plastic? “If you need help with all that we can walk you to your car.” Executives usually get a cardboard box, two security guards and a ride to the outskirts of town. When Bristol Myers Squibb had a huge layoff in 2007, I figured I was going. I had been relocated to the home office from a sales position in Arizona because I had created a patient education video that had a serious impact on my sales numbers.

Once I got back, I found, much to my dismay, video, on-line marketing and permission based e-detailing, were not ready for prime time in this outfit (even though innovation was slapped all over every piece of branding they had). Loin cloths were appropriate attire at the time.

This left me with lots of down time which I put to good use by flying all over the country and learning from the masters in all of the above on the company’s dime. Have to say though, feeling under utilized and seeing what really went on in house had a very negative impact on me. So when the layoff rumors started percolating I was more than ready. I had been receiving offers from different entities for my specialized skill set but didn’t feel as though I was quite ready to jump.

That changed quickly when I heard there was a year’s severance and some boo hoo money. The day finally came when all the floors were flooded with strange people hogging all the copy machines with management and HR reps escorting sobbing employees to secluded rooms where they laid the bomb on them. It was surreal.

I could hardly contain myself. I was so excited, I called my wife and told her to pick a nice place for lunch, as I would be home early. Real early! I packed my office, started running stuff to my car while consoling the wounded and bleeding scattered in the hallways on the way out. Amazingly, the ones who every single day, swore they were going, pooped their pants when it did happen. I thought one guy needed a baby aspirin in a hurry. His color was gone and he was speechless. So much for playing Devil’s Advocate with yourself.

Then, as I was walking down the hallway I saw my boss, who strangely, thought I was a guy named Wally Smith. She asked if she could see me in my office. I remember pushing open the swinging doors to where my office was located with her and an HR rep in tow, feeling giddy, lightheaded and unsure how I would really feel once I was told I wasn’t needed anymore.

But alas, it was not to be. As I escorted them into my neatly packed office and ready to assure them I would be off the property immediately, this very strange lady, who I had been supposedly directly reporting to for the last year, opened with “Going somewhere Wally?” After I corrected her as to who I was, she said, I would like to inform you that (pause) you still have a job.”

“Are you shitting me?,” is not exactly a professional response, but it was all I had. I mean, what do you say after you’ve been robbed of a year’s severance pay plus? I was outraged. Surely there had been some type of mistake. Do you even know who I am or what I do? Nope. No parole for you.

So there I was, at the checkout counter with all my groceries, my card out and ready to do the deal (for the good of the company, mind you) and the guy says, “I’m sorry sir, this register is closed!”

If you’ve made it this far down the page and think you can endure more of this nonsense, click the subscribe button and get free delivery. You can also leave a comment with suggestions  on where I can get professional help. Thanks. E.R.

Noogie: the act of rubbing your knuckles on a person’s head to cause annoyance or slight pain. Here I go again. But I’m not going to stop, because at some level these rants feed my insecurities and give me the notion that I’m on the right track. However fleeting.

The scenario: I saw you on line. I thought you were different. I thought you were just doing something cool and if anybody was interested, well, c’mon in. Nice!

That’s very attractive these days. Like dating, it’s that initial attraction, that little something that makes you different. And you made me feel good, special, you knew what I needed. You could feel my pain. I thought we were going to have that one-of-a-kind special relationship. Then I find out you only want to get in my pants.

Then you begin dropping your guard and start using phrases like “guaranteed success,” “life changing,” and the particularly galling, “However, what if I told you there was a way to have predictable book sales, income…”  fill in the blanks. That’s when I start to return my coffee.

As you can surmise, this my world, this is where I graze, this is where I stick my finger in the air to feel which way the wind is blowing. If I can’t judge the landscape I’m fucked. So, naturally I try to learn from others in my sphere of influence. But those same patterns keep emerging. It’s that slow, irritating, painful knuckle drag that gives the noogie it’s repulsive nature. First of all, where did that term originate? I’m not going to Google it, my head hurts already.

I hear from people all the time that I respect, admire and trust that this is just the way business is done. It always comes down to the “ask”, It’s commerce, it’s trade it’s the way shit works. In sales, I was told to ask for the business, ask for the business. Give ’em a noogie. Irritate the shit out of them with time tested, market researched, ten message hits. Grab them in a headlock and start rubbing. They will buy anything just to get you out of the fucking building. That’s what I was taught. Flash! You don’t sell anything! You don’t get in my pants without my consent. Sell! Sell! Sell! Buy today. Time is running out!

I hate that! It flies in the face of every thing I sense, feel, and abide by. I’m not trying to take a shit on the business world or the front stairs of Wharton, I’m just saying that we have to stop giving people that painful, abrasive, methodical noogie when we are trying to make our goods and service available.

Why not just show people what you can do. If they like it, they’ll buy it. I know, naive. You don’t chase a fish down and ram a worm down his throat. I’m not just pulling this stuff out of my butt. It’s happening to me. Everyday!

I like you. I want to keep seeing you but you have to stop with the pretense. The only thing you can do at this point is alienate me. Stop the oversell. I’m not a mushroom. Got that? Now give yourself a noogie and take the rest of the day off.

If you’ve made it this far down the page and think you can endure more of this nonsense, click the subscribe button and get free delivery. You can also leave a comment with suggestions  on where I can get professional help. Thanks. E.R.

OK, you young whippersnappers, it’s showtime. There’s a bounty on your head and you are being targeted. Your parents want you out, and the corporate world wants you in. They need to start dulling your senses and confusing the shit out of you while you’re still maleable. Because once you hit your 30s, you’ll start asking questions. We can’t have that!

It reminds me of when I was your age, back then they had the draft. You got a draft card when you turned 18, still too young to vote out the lousy bastards out who started the Vietnam conflict in the first place, but young enough to get your nuts blown off by a “Bouncing Betty.” Oh, and their kids weren’t available, they were in law school. How convenient.

I realized later in life that if you attempted to conscript any later than the 18 to 24 year old range, Canada would be a lot bigger country than it is now. So it goes, get them when they’re young and impressionable. As you are aware, they did a really good job on the kids coming home today from Iraq and Afghanistan. Real good!

Ever wonder why none of our political leaders, including the President, has never spent any time in uniform? I’m sure it’s just a coincidence. Oh, but they can send you off locked and loaded. You betcha!

But, I digress, kind of. You’re being called to fill the ranks of the troops that went before you. Even though most of them don’t know they’re going.There’s a spot for you waiting in front of that copy machine and the hope of an annual 2% increase until you can no longer control your bowels. If your lucky. Most likely, you will be mustered out when a fresh batch of recruits becomes available. Then you will be forced to survive and thrive by your own hand.

No womb to the tomb for you!

That’s when it gets good. Great, actually.To feel the thrill of thinking yourself out of a shit storm and feeling the blood course through your veins. You’ll be in the game. If your shoot opens. Yes, life in the fast lane. You will know the thrill of victory and the agony of defeat. You will thrash and gnash and flail and wail and punch the air.

You will become careful, cunning and collected. Your eyes will narrow. You will think before you agree or commit. You will find yourself sitting across the table from adversaries that would eat their young right in front of you. When you push that last bit of musty air out of your failing lungs in your final minutes, you’ll know you gave as good as you got.

So what will it be? The fast lane? Or the breakdown lane? Or would you like to buy a bowel?

As in spirit or entity, something that is hard to quantify. You never got that? They love that little loophole in HR. Oh yeah, and prudent risk. But wait, we’ll get to that and the reason I bring them up. First, my day from the beginning. This is important for context.

Wake up at 3:00 am, hit the coffee button, boot up all my computers, then hit the air conditioner.  By now the tip of my index finger is getting tender. Walk out into my yard and jump into my freezing pool, naked. The sensation makes me launch my aorta into my neighbor’s yard, right where he pees to keep the coyotes away.

Back to the house, pour some coffee, sit down at my Mac Book Air and respond to a women named Yulia, from Russia, who wants to be my friend for money. A quick breakfast consisting of two Metamucil crackers and some warm Kefir and I’m off to the Overton trail for a one hour mountain run.

The sun is getting hot by now, so I gotta move it. I have “A Horse With No Name” on my iPhone in a loop so it lasts the whole run. One of the interesting things about peyote is that no matter how many times you hear the same song it always seems like the first. Is it legal yet?

Between the beautiful terrain, the warm sun and getting hit on by an 80 year old gay man, I’m thinking the day is going pretty well.

Now to the point of this blog. At 11:00 am I have a breakfast meeting with a big shot from Scottsdale, who is looking to develop a values system for his company. I’m a bit leery though. It’s not a very big company and he doesn’t hit me as the type who encourages democracy. As my guy Jesse frequently warns me “There’s a lot of thousand dollar millionaires out there.”

Sure enough, this guy is a piece of work. I didn’t notice his sheriff’s dept. ankle bracelet until I was walking back from the restroom. When we’re deep into the details of the project and I start to explain entrepreneurial spirit and prudent risk, well, maybe not so much. To him, those things work in theory but not in practice. All he could focus on was what spirit and risk meant. He said, “I’m cool with that spirit thing as long as it don’t get no teeth, ya get me? He didn’t want to consider risk of any type.

Sometimes I think this values thing gets a little carried away with itself. One place had like eleven. Ridiculous. They had to camp out at Babson for two days, they brought some agency guy in who had priapism the whole time. He was so happy, he could finally pay off his kid’s student loans. Which brings me to my point. You should only have one value: Do the right thing! Period!

Know the difference?

You ask. Fair question. It works like this: If I have something you don’t need, absolutely nothing. On the other hand, if you are in a space where you think I can give you something you can use, and make your life a little better, then absolutely something.

Sell: verb, to give or hand over something for money. I hate that term. It implies that one party is convincing the other they need something when they might not think they do. If you have to ask what I’m selling, I feel better already. I’m also not going to ask you for your business. I don’t run like that. I get my work, my words and my wit out there to have folks judge for themselves whether I can help them. Or not! The kind of folks that really get me and what I do is who I want to spend time with and do great things. Retail, this ain’t!

Actually, I hate all the begging, pleading and sleight of hand that goes on with these self styled gurus that are infesting our temporal lobes, trying to hook you into an endless  subscription of self help business approaches and how-to be-just-like-me strategies. Free E-Book anyone? These guys are serious as a heart attack about what they do and will ask the same questions in different ways to get under your skin. I don’t usually post with titles that end in a question mark but this is an exception. When you see a post with a question mark, it means they’re just fishing around waiting for a nibble.

There are a lot of these on-line subscription based businesses going belly up, or not pulling in enough sheep to survive, so they have come up with, “let’s sell training of the same shit that’s not working for us.” Yeah, that’s the ticket! I see this in video production all the time. It ain’t pretty. “This game is dying, so let’s monetize the shit out of it, then bail.”

As they used to say in music school, “Them that can’t play, teach.” Think about it, if they’re making the money they say they are, they shouldn’t have time for no teachin’.

The sad truth is, these guys run out of material very quickly and so they revert to the cute little inspirational success stories, life changing ideas they nick off other blogs, tea bags and anything they can pick up from other media sources. Please! Gag me with a shovel. We are an insecure, needy lot, so they thrive.

They say you need passion to achieve mastery. Truth is, achieving mastery first, brings the passion, not the other way around. That takes about 10,000 hours.

So what am I selling? Collaboration! You get me, my 10,000+ hours, a shitload of passion and a way to get your product, brand or service accepted by the world. End of story. No need to subscribe.

I get it every day as I’m back washing my coffee.

Ah yes, parting is such sweet sorrow. If only you could  remember how it all came to this. Didn’t they say “Hey, relax, enjoy yourself, unwind, you deserve it.” This was your time to celebrate. Especially after all the B.S those home office pukes put you through all year. Late nights typing up sketchy sales calls, sitting in your car in your underwear at 2:00 am, revving the engine and leaving copious voice mails to everyone in your district. Sleeping with that nuclear tech. Oops! Glad he’s moved on, eh? What did you get for all that creativity? The dumper!

Open bar! Whose idea was that anyway? Throw in a couple of lines and a xanax and no wonder you were humping that HR ladie’s leg. If they didn’t invite that asshole from Double O with the camera, no one would have been the wiser. So you wake up the next morning in your manager’s room with a strange taste in your mouth, your underwear on backwards  and a crumpled dollar in your hand. One last one for the team. To make matters worse, there’s a note on the dresser mirror requesting that you leave the keys to the company car and your laptop at the desk in the front lobby. Don’t stop to say goodbye.

Now what? Go to work for the competition? Seems you forgot about that little non-compete you signed while you were throwing down Jell-o shots at the cocktail reception. So much for redemption. As legal is fond of saying, “When we fuck ya, ya stay fucked!”

Advice? Sure! Create a platform for yourself and share all your knowledge and experience with the world. Let corporate be corporate, that dying animal, and break out of the herd.

If you want to be in an organization, join the Boy Scouts!

Simplify! Simplify! Simplify!

It’s not that complicated! If you’ve ever had to endure one of these mind numbing exercises in corporate masturbation, you’ll know exactly what I’m talking about. It is so cruel as to be abusive. I must admit to being totally intimidated by such overkill in my early days. But I’ve also found that it’s a good time to figure out my electric bill or catch up with some dead relatives. Who needs marketing strategy presented by the “Science Guy”?

If you’ve been following me you know that I spend a lot of time dancing on the grave of all that went before in corporate America. Goodbye to all the corporate speak and acronyms and secret handshakes. In pharmaceutical sales you needed a handbook. The gloves are off and only the strong and savvy will survive. Ding! “In this corner…”

I started my business to help companies create “clear” timely, compelling and impactful online messaging.  It was born out of frustration really, with the status quo and the slow, lumbering, cyclops-like models large companies use. I spent a lot of time talking to leaders who’s every other sentence was peppered with words like innovation, creativity and prudent risk, clearly aimed at the board of directors. Oh, and teamwork. Don’t get me started!

The economy is dictating the new business model and we need to skinny down the rhetoric and get to the point quickly. We can’t afford to be clumsy in this fast moving business world. In case you didn’t get the memo, we are untethered from the mother ship and free to engage the world on our own terms.

Now, anyone with a laptop and a clear and compelling message can change the world from a stall in the airport restroom. Flush twice, it’s a long way to New Jersey!

Had a casual lunch with a recruiter yesterday. Very savvy guy. Lots of entrepreneurial spirit, that one. Having never had the pleasure of dining with someone in that industry, I had loads of questions regarding large corporations and their hiring practices.

I pressed him on what a typical day was like. He said “I spend all day fishing for millennials. We do everything we can to entice them into considering our company”  Really, I said, “How’s the fishing?” He said it was pretty good given the glut of newly minted “schools” of college graduates with nowhere to to go. Think salmon.

“What kind of bait you using?” I asked. “Don’t need any, they’ll bite on just about anything. I should just be using a net, but you might get a boomer or two and maybe even an X’er.Then you have to throw them back. Too old and smart. Chewy too. Oh yeah, and expensive.”

“We like ’em young and dumb and still close to their Mum. Who has a vested interest in renting their room, by the way. Why should we pay a seasoned vet when a rookie will do? Plus, millennials are in season” Gotcha!

If you’re wondering why the companies you sent your resumes to aren’t calling you back, it might be because you’re passed puberty, the age of reason and you can tie your own shoes.

In other words, you’re over qualified. I shit you not!

Next: What to do about it.

The guilty party!

I have a company stalking me that wants to help me with my on line video marketing. Seems they got my e-mail address from a podcast I watched recently. Each message I get contains an embedded video of a guy hunched over in his cubicle whispering hoarsely into his iPhone.

The audio sucks and half his face is blown out. He looks like a bank teller in the middle of a robbery. And he’s gonna help ME? WTF? Nice shot of the ceiling though.

What are they thinking? Hit the taste button please. It would be laughable if it wasn’t so depressing. Everybody wants to be in show business. They’re peeing in the pool and they don’t care. Most likely, they’re not even aware, which must be a type of artistic incontinence.  Everyone has a microphone and it’s Karaoke night every friggin’ day.

When folks ask me what I do, I’m very careful with how I broach the subject of video production, lest I be tainted by the yellow cloud working its way toward me in the deep end of this very crowded pool.

Let’s just say, all things being equal, (they’re not) that quality, production value and strategy, aren’t all that important and most folks don’t really notice anyway. You still have to have a  friggin’ thought, a mission, a deliberate attempt at informing your audience and at least some viewer empathy.

Can you ask with a straight face at the end of your digital intercourse, “Was it good for you?”  If not… you’re not gonna be bleeping me!

A corporate performance review, at least in my experience, after a two hour “This is Your Life”, usually consisted of my manager and me sparring back and forth about some developmental issues I needed work on. Whether or not they existed. These issues, real or imagined, were actually his or her job security. Otherwise, why would the company need them around if they weren’t developing me out of something? Save for faxing a spreadsheet or two and making sure we all got oil changes in our company cars.

When traveling with them it was a constant interrogation. Anything professional or personal was fair game. One manager said, ”Bob, you gotta give me something”. At dinner it was back and forth, back and forth. Then it would inevitably turn to how close certain members of my team were gaining on me in the sales numbers arena. Obviously right out the management playbook. Then came the inevitable mea culpa that as good a year as I had had, unfortunately, the district only had so much money allotted for raises and bonuses but things were looking up for next year.

My last five years with Big pharma was breath taking. With it’s mother ship in New Jersey and a revolving door management program with layers of titles and functions. (Cue strange music.) Marketing meetings use to look like the first day of jury duty.

By then I was a senior multimedia producer and had complete and total control of everything within my purview. I got the social media bug before it got so, uh, fashionable. Video, web design, e-marketing, the whole shooting match. Not that I was an expert or a visionary, it was that no one had any idea what I did or how I did it. And not one of my (many) managers was in a big hurry to find out. The good news for me was obvious. The bad news was obvious. Then my reviews went from emotional badminton to surreptitiously sliding an envelope under my door with a note saying “I’m not exactly sure what you do, but knowing you, I’m sure you’re good at it. True story.

Bottom line. I can’t think of a better way to squeeze the shit out of human potential than what I have just described. Thank God it’s almost over. Big Pharma will no longer take you from the “womb to the tomb” and that’s a good thing. Soon, we will all know the correct spelling of “entrepreneur.” and it won’t be just another entry on a company mission statement.

Well that little catharsis felt good. Guess I do have some issues after all.

Where’s my manager when I need him?

This might put a burr in a few saddles but I’ve never been known for my sensitivity on certain topics. A couple of times a year my wife starts to notice my eyes rolling back in their sockets and a foamy substance starts to accumulate in the corners of my mouth. So she automatically sends me packing to our second home in Cave Creek, Arizona, until the hair on my knuckles starts to recede. Smart lady. Being a creative producer can be challenging and maddening and I just never seem to know when to let up.The cost of loving what you do. No complaints here.

So, after being abducted then released at the airport check-in counter, I gave in to the realization that a change of venue was in order. The geographical cure. Surrender!

I’m a people watcher. It’s better than TV, especially at the airport. I had a late day flight so I got a chance to witness all the corporate zombies shuffling to their assigned gates after a day of grovelling and endless meetings in a distant city. I did this for 30 years so I have some idea from whence I speak. The loosened ties, the wrinkled suits, the pale, pasty look of the well worn business traveler. I did this before Xanax became part of your frequent flier program. I did it sober too. How I got a negative colonoscopy after all that, I’ll never know.

Once boarded, I sat next to a rep from a large pharmaceutical company and we chatted about life on the road and where the industry was headed. All benign stuff. After we took off, she pulled out her iPad and earphones and started to watch “American Hustle”. I couldn’t help but wonder what her life was like. She looked tired, her hair was very dry, and her nails were bitten down to the nub. Her shoes were worn and scuffed and she wore one of those indestructible pant suits that you could run over with a truck and hit with a flame thrower and it would come out unscathed.

After her third bottle of Chardonnay, she lapsed into a catatonic state and started to snore. Softly at first, then the volume went up, followed by those tell tale snarks. I mean, zonked! The volume in her earphones was so loud I had to resort to my Bose noise cancelers. She was out until we landed. She wasn’t sure if we were in Phoenix or Philly. Hey, they both begin with P, no biggie! And as long as you’re on a plane, drunk or sober, you’re workin’ right?

Something tells me we’re witnessing the end of a dying breed. The road warrior has turned into the half dead, foot dragging, sample closet filling, knee pad wearing representative of an organization that has been planning their demise for years. If you think 2008 was fun, wait until they create a digital rep than can out shoot, out shit and out shine anything with a pulse.

Oh, and they make their own doughnuts.

As any stand up comic will tell you, it’s all in the delivery. Not only what you’re delivering, but to who. I’m sure the unfiltered Sam Kinison was never asked to play at the Vatican. Wrong audience. It wouldn’t play in Peoria, as they say. In the business world, we have the ability nowadays to wreak havoc on our intended prey merely by raining down on them all the inescapable, inappropriate and redundant on-line information we think they need. Or don’t need.

Like drone strikes, no one seems to be aware of the collateral damage lack of specific targeting can cause, annoying many and closing off the communication opportunity in the process. What I deal with a lot, is impatience when it comes to taking the time to step back and properly target the appropriate audience. Carving out and designating groups of recipients that want to hear about features and benefits of your offering is critical.

So the next time you take the stage and want your audience to appreciate your routine, be sure they paid to get in, meaning they chose to be in the audience and they get the material.

Yeah, the mic is on, it’s loud enough and you have been preparing forever, but if your manager books you into a Shriner’s Convention and they don’t get the punchlines, you’ll be back driving the UPS truck in no time.

All of the most successful comedians got their start in small venues. It’s more intimate, you can see your audience better and they know you’re talking only to them. Once you get your material, time and delivery down, they’re gonna love ya!

I just watched a dopey corporate music video in which my gag reflexes were tested. The video production company that produced it is beating their chest and proclaiming that more organizations should be doing stuff like this. In the early 80’s, in big companies, this was routine and just as cringe worthy. I have a closet full of VHS tapes that I will use as blackmail if I ever run out of money.

I’m all for fun but it doesn’t have to be dopey! Bad dialogue and stiff performances are excruciating. Lip synching and jumping jacks don’t do anything but scare the crap out of people. Especially clients. The one I just watched is on their Facebook page.Yikes! I wonder how many people have closed their account after viewing that little Fellini masterpiece.

I had to shoot one once where the the women’s hologram or “conscience” was on the wall beside her, guiding her, during a performance review. With echo even! The head of HR thought that one up. He must have rigged the drug test.

I have such a bad taste in my mouth after being forced to participate in these corporate fiascos likes “skits” and “selling scenarios” over the years, I’m still working it out in therapy. Now that I’m on the other end of the camera and have a say in production, I use all of my experience to steer clients away from hokey videos in today’s environment.

Warning: YouTube lives forever!

You can create corporate videos that are inspirational and motivating without resorting to slapstick.These videos are supposed to be shared, not used as evidence. Let’s kick it up a notch, eh?

Before you pull the trigger on that next e-mail blast, you should have your target audience lined up and clearly in your sights. Being fast on the draw is useless if you can’t shoot straight. When you’re gunning for more customers and you want those notches on your belt, you need to use the right ammo. So don’t get trigger happy, holster that message until you clearly define your intended target. Blasting away will only get you a spot on Boot Hill with your customers.

Get permission, deliver appropriate content to the appropriate audience and have a conversation that will build the relationship over time. It’s not a one shot deal! We all have itchy trigger fingers but the target is all that matters. Remember…. anticipated, relevant and personal!

I actually had a manager say something similar to me at a favorable performance review. Once I digested that little nugget, I really had to struggle to get over myself. How deflating!  As the oldest of ten children, I know the feeling of being one of the crowd. You either find a way to get attention or you get whatever is left over. Needless to say, there are no shy violets in my family. And they all developed sharp elbows.

Being part of a large organization, like a large family, has a way of smoothing off your edges.There’s comfort in the fact that you’re part of something big with seemingly unlimited resources, but being a face in the crowd under layers of management never sat well with me. I struggled mightily, despite the company’s  efforts to reward me and promote me for my contributions. I always felt placated. How’s that for gratitude?

Finally, a reorganization that barely mentioned my name pushed me over the edge and I left to start my own creative consultant business.That was six years ago and I never looked back.

Now, it’s the same thing only more intense. The struggle to be heard. To be relevant. To be different. Everything is on line and on the line.

It’s like the first day of hunting season. Everyone has a gun and everyone’s excited. Blasting away at everything that moves. It’s crazy out there.

Now, as marketers, we have to be the signal, not the noise. The clarity, not the clutter. We have to develop new, but related, marketing skills to be viable and survive in this cacophony of media frenzy.

Here’s the take away: No matter what technology tools you have at your disposal, nothing will replace a thoughtful, deliberate strategy when it come to getting seen, heard and standing out from the crowd. First, there was the thought! You’re unique, not like everyone else!

If the title of this piece caught your attention and stirred your angst… good!

Who me? Nah, get one of my people, I’m not good on camera. I don’t like that stuff. I’m just not comfortable…. why do we need a video anyway? Besides, isn’t this expensive?

If I had a dollar every time I heard that, I’d be typing this from a hammock in the Virgin Islands. Get over it!

Truth is, we’re all gonna be TV personalities by the time the decade is over. Time to warm up to the idea that your image and likeness will be slapped all over cyberspace, so you may as well put on a happy face and manage your own press. Get over it!

I say this all the time, but “up close and personal” is turning into “closed for the season.” To move your audience and make an impression takes “flipping the switch” in their head. Get them to feel as though they know you and trust you even when you can’t get anywhere near them, at least physically.

That’s why on camera media training and presentation skills are so important. It’s really the same game but with a different approach. In sales, the road warrior has gone digital and the client call is delivered seamlessly on line. Hopefully to someone who’s permission you sought beforehand.

But that’s just the beginning. Now we’re talking performance art. This is what separates the pros from the weak, pleading, awkward, poorly produced and unexpected video I just watched, and what prompted this article.

Once you get past the technology it’s all in the execution. If you don’t execute, well….  get over it!

What’s in your smartphone?

I call it pitch walking. When you spot the key decision maker, or economic buyer walking down the hallway and you need to get their attention quickly, the multimedia tools on your smartphone or iPad can be critical. You never know when opportunity is going to present itself.

We’re all busy and attention is currency as I like to say, so some guerrilla tactics are in order. Whether it’s a video, slide presentation or just a picture, it’s content, content, content. What happens at that moment can lead to a more detailed meeting later.

The content my company creates is specifically aimed at mobile devices for just this type of scenario. Influencing and impressing busy people takes a bit of agility these days. But it’s more than that. As in any sales pre-call planning, you need to be prepared, have your content loaded and ready to make your point in a split second.

That being said, it takes practice to walk, talk and chew bubble gum. I’ve seen some pretty awkward attempts at pitch walking. It’s an art form once you get it down.

Full disclosure: I once slid a loaded iPad with a video playing under a stall door much to the surprise and confusion of a CFO. He’s a friend of mine with a good sense of humor, but boy, that story went viral. I can talk more about it once the case is settled:)

Time and attention, that’s what we’re after. Why do you think they call them smart devices?

Having the boss commit to a company-wide, on-line video message is one thing. Delivering him or her to the studio or designated area, is quite another. Something about the lights, camera, and a small cadre of on-lookers has an unsettling effect on some business leaders.

While in their element at the podium and company gatherings, the lack of a human audience, staring at bright lights, reading scrolling text, looking natural, and more importantly, convincing, can be a daunting task to say the least. But it’s critical today. Having the on-camera performance  look effortless and sincere is crucial. In my opinion, this is one of the challenges business leaders face today.

Get on camera and get good at it!

Almost no one is exempt from performance anxiety in unusual circumstances. In this digital era,the benefits of a well produced on-line video message with passion and conviction are enormous in shaping and maintaining culture in large, worldwide organizations.

As a matter of fact, face to face engagement is diminishing rapidly. Being in the same room anymore is wishful thinking. So the on-camera magic has to happen. As I have mentioned many times before, this takes a bit of practice and commitment. That’s where I come in.

One of the more rewarding aspects of what I do is explaining the benefits of this type of messaging while sharing and using my experiences in delivering an effective on-line executive video message.

Producing and working with business leaders to develop on-camera presence is a much needed skill that is being adopted and developed rapidly. Soooo!, if your position or role requires you to get your boss’s face out there to the world, I can help you sell him on the WIFM.

So call your boss. I’ll wait!:)

 All things being equal… and they usually aren’t, as far as technology is concerned. But let’s just say that everyone has access to a full creative studio in their organization. The only thing that would differentiate the content coming out of that department would be the creativity of the messaging. Ideas! Having the experience from years of marketing campaigns and corporate cultural messaging, I have learned various ways to make messages “stick”. Knowing what works and what doesn’t, makes all the difference. Our approach is turnkey, because  creating and delivering great content for internal and external corporate audiences is a commitment. We are also not a huge company with layers of “team” members. We are a small, fast moving, easy to work with group that will get you from script to screen in a smooth and affordable way. As we are fond of saying, “We don’t like one night stands, we are looking to settle down and raise a company. If you would like to get your organization to the next level, let’s date for a while 🙂

I’m gonna create a new brand of dish washing liquid called “Epiphany” because a lot of creative things come to me while I’m washing dishes. As I’m staring out my kitchen window, and my mind wanders from my daily activities, free-form thinking slithers in and makes room for enlightenment. What is it about soapy water?

Lately, I’m getting a lot more speaking gigs  and they are going really well. Though I haven’t been doing it for very long professionally, it feels natural. It feels good. I talk about the advantages of on line marketing using video and social media, which I am very passionate about.  I know some folks struggle, but it seems second nature to me. I’m thinking, isn’t that weird? Then it hit me, it’s rhythm.

I have a musical background as well as stand up comedy experience and have always had to rely heavily on rhythm. Who knows, things might be a bit different today without it. Watch any good gospel preacher on a roll or a motivational speaker in the throws of his story and you’ll see a familiar pattern. Slow build, captivating delivery and then the finale. Works every time. Rhythm baby!

The same with jazz music or poetry. Duke Ellington and his orchestra would start the count in the dressing room and keep the tempo in their heads all the way to the bandstand. Then bam, the band was off and running in perfect sync and they never failed to bring the audience to their feet.

When I first started editing video I asked a pro what skills I would need to be a great editor. He said, “do you play a musical instrument?” which of course I did,  he said that’s good because making film cuts was like making music, you have to “feel” the pace and timing of the story. There’s a definite rhythmic flow to it. Speaking to live audiences can also take on a certain musical characteristic, where you have to put it all out there, get in that groove and take them on a journey. You have to be in the moment.

Telling a joke (successfully) is similar. I have rarely met a really good speaker who couldn’t pull off a good one. It’s that rhythm, timing and execution. You also have to be alert and sensitive to the mood of your audience.

You need to immerse yourself in the story. Have a picture in your mind’s eye. Visualize. Or the audience will pick up on it right away. Then out comes the smart phones.

I have to get back to the dishes but I would leave you with this. Next time you have to get up there and speak to an audience, feel the rhythm of the story in your head, sway into it, get your timing right and execute. Kill ‘em in their seats! Make them feel you, love you, root for you. Get really emotional about your subject. Or the rhythm will ebb and die.

Like any conductor, you don’t throw it at them, you invite them into your groove and let them experience you. Let the rhythm take you.

Grinding out a another feel good corporate video with “puff piece” interviews and roaming travelogues is not meant for public consumption in my opinion. That type of content is more appropriate for new hires and investors. But that doesn’t prevent that YouTube upload. What I’m seeing lately is not passing the “So What?” test. What am I watching here?

How about a thought leader in your field who has breaking news? The new product or new indication? The viewer needs to walk away with something besides “well, wasn’t that nice?” If your fishing for eyeballs and hoping for that “lean in” moment, you’re gonna have to kick it up a notch.

Viewer empathy. It has taken me years and lots of hard lessons to understand that for anyone to hang on for more than 30 seconds of a “hey aren’t we great?” video, there has to be a WIFM. (Unless, of course there’s a quiz later.) To continue on the beef analogy, there has to be a certain amount of “fat” to keep the content together. Go too lean and it all falls apart.

Best advice I ever got: “It’s not about you, Bob”.

I am amazed to see companies with great reputations shoot them self in the foot by offering up a half cooked, self indulgent video production to the public. It ends up being an opus with bad audio, lighting and on camera talent, and worse, non existent editing. At first it’s fun and even amazing to create something like a corporate video.The coolness factor.

But then you find out the “viewer participation rate” was less than expected. Way less. You get that glazed look when you ask someone if they watched it. I must confess, I have produced thousands of DVDs that are still being used as coasters.

Your audience knows quality.

We all watch TV, been doing it for years. That makes us experts. But when it comes time to get on the receiving end of a lens it all goes out the window. On playback the focus is not always where it should be. That’s why God made producers:)

Video is not an afterthought or a cute little project that came about after a group hug in the cafeteria. It is the only game in town. Know thy audience.

With today’s on line video capabilities, it’s becoming the growing trend to build corporate internal and external communications around TV network models. Some of the companies we work with have large screen digital signage displays at critical points in the building areas and the content is also replicated on line for field based personnel and re-viewing.

At Bristol Myers Squibb in 2006, we branded it MITV, Medical Imaging Television. This created a multimedia repository of vital information for all employees such as upcoming events, HR announcements, safety practices, IT updates, executive messaging, product announcements and Town Hall meetings, which would be streamed and captured as video on demand,(V.O.D.)

This created a sense of excitement and produced a group of aspiring on-camera personalities, interviewers and interviewees, as well as a sense of competition for the most compelling and unique ways to drive home a message across departments.

Today, as this technique has taken hold, a room is usually designated the “studio” with a camera, green screen and teleprompter where announcements can be taped, edited, produced and reviewed before posting.

Weekly meetings are convened to implement the programming for the following week, any new topics and to discuss content receptivity through feedback mechanisms. This allows us to target our audiences more effectively.

I will be sharing more about the world of corporate broadcasting, the impact it is having on businesses and how you can get started in the future. What an exciting way to get valuable information to stick! Let me know if your company or business is doing something similar and please stay in touch by subscribing to this blog.

For now…  “Quiet on the set!

A couple of articles in the Wall St. Journal this morning caught my attention. One brought up the subject of students graduating college and if it was worth the money.

“Colleges, under increased pressure to justify the cost of education, are having a hard time getting solid proof of graduates’ success in finding well-paying jobs.”

The other, had to do with job hunting seniors.

“As we begin to look for jobs during our senior year, between bouts of temporary alcohol-induced amnesia, we start to suspect that our cluelessness is a real problem. When we find out that the guy who has worn the same Greek function T-shirt and sunglasses backward around his neck for four years has accepted a job offer, panic sets in.”

I can’t imagine, having come from the boomer generation, what it must feel like to complete that level of education and face so much uncertainty in the job market. In my day, if you had that piece of paper, even if you had the drive and personality of a potted plant, you were in. Not only that, you were sought after. Now you are some faceless entrant in the race to nowhere.

Now, you fill out an on line application and upload your resume into the void and hope the database, which doesn’t have a face either, won’t find the wrong word, or one of the boxes wasn’t checked. You most likely will never know. There’s a little torture for you.

As you face the future far from the comfort of your parent’s warm toilet seat, you realize that a little street hustle is in order. The lizard brain rears its ugly head and you struggle.
Entrepreneur is a french word that literally means to “undertake”. It gets flung around in every direction until it means absolutely nothing. It oozes out of speakers on every stage at national sales meetings, business round tables and executive meetings.

What it really means, for you and me, is that we need to tip that box they’re always talking about, the one we’re supposed to be thinking outside of, upside down and shake it. With the technology we have at our disposal, we can become wealthy, self sustainable  and notable without ever leaving the house. I personally do my best work in my pajamas. We won’t have to go suit shopping and learn interview skills to please gate keepers who most likely have their own insecurities.

You may have a four year degree but we’re not going to hold that against you 🙂

Welcome to the jungle!

Have a little too much business? Can’t get enough family time? Life is short you know, you might need to get away for a while. We have a special offer that is guaranteed to slow things down for you…. to a grinding halt!

Let us post our special brand of insights and moronic anecdotes to LinkedIn,Twitter and Facebook under your name. Your friends and family will be mystified. Your  business associates will cross the street when they see you coming, but….

Your numbers will drop in minutes, the phone will stop ringing and you’ll be off to Cabo, sparking up a huge spliff, smearing on body paint and applying for bankruptcy protection.   And if that’s not all….

As a bonus you will also get experienced tactical assistance from Officer Bobo, who can divert web traffic better than Gov. Christie did in the Ft. Lee to G.W. bridge lash up.

Call today! 1- 800-bizstop

Operators are standing by. (If they’re not in Cabo)

Want to get noticed by the big guys in Dupont and take a bunch of senior directors down with you? Simple! Write a song about your biggest product on it’s 10th anniversary, dress up like Elvis and perform it in front of 1500 employees at the annual National Sales Meeting. Once I played the demo for the home office in the Wilmington De. headquarters, they went for it. Big time!

I acted like a true rock star though. I demanded a baby grand piano on the stage, my own sound engineer and lighting director, even the green M&Ms removed from the candy bowl:)

I wanted the whole nine yards or I wouldn’t go on. They acquiesced. Couldn’t believe it!

But there was a catch. They wanted me to dress up like Elvis so some big wig could yell “Elvis has left the building” after I exited the stage. There’s corporate originality for you.

They came up with the wig, the glasses, the skin tight jump suit and the cape.

The kielbasa was my idea.

HR issue right there. But hey, now even they were noticing me. Autographs anyone?

So how do you stick out in big pharma? Creativity, chutzpah and oh yeah, a large kielbasa.

After what I thought was one CLM* too many, I was told the global tour would start in two weeks. They couldn’t wait to inflict me on the rest of their unsuspecting organization.

That’s showbiz I guess!

* Career limiting move for you newbies!

Get used to looking at those two words. Entering someone’s head space is becoming more difficult by the day. On line security is turning into global warfare. Everything will turn on permission based access to your audiences. We will all be fishing in smaller ponds and will have to know the particular ground rules of each. Cultivation and harvest in this atmosphere will need the deliberate targeting and long view by marketers.

Sales has always been about relationships in person or on line. In other words, trust. With all the scams being perpetrated out there, people’s identities at risk, fortunes made and lost, the cost of access is growing exponentially. Paranoia is justified in the current climate.

So how do we deal with this pinhole of opportunity? Like honey and vinegar, we must wrap our messaging in the type of information our audiences can value. That’s going to take some strategic thinking. I have been a proponent of on line permission based conversations that set up these lines of trust and confidentiality for years. This takes time. As Seth Godin would say “you don’t walk into a bar and ask someone to marry you”. Believe me, I’ve tried and it doesn’t work.

The courtship needs to take place over time so that the relationship can grow. But, like any human interaction, if you constantly talk about yourself and don’t notice verbal cues and signals from your intended, well, access denied.

One of the biggest hurdles to getting any type of corporate video project “off the ground”  comes at the initial stages. The approaches vary from “let’s just shoot it” to a long and winding process that leads to confusion, delay and scope creep. Cha-ching!

As a client who was running her first video project said to me at the outset, “we don’t even know what we don’t know”. In my years as corporate video producer the understanding of pre-production has run the gamut. A simple understanding of script writing, on camera talent, audiences and delivery is crucial but mostly absent from the process. They don’t teach this in business school.

When someone is designated to head up a project and deal with a creative agency, it can be a very awkward process. That person has to rely heavily on the agency to pull all the pieces together. They don’t usually understand the terms, the process or the hidden barriers to meeting a timely deadline.

“We just want a short 15-20 minute video” is what I hear a lot from marketers and business owners who don’t realize what that would look like. Zzzzz! This is where the intervention comes in. Projects can languish for days, weeks or months by the time details like legal, regulatory and promotional review raise their ugly head, when they should have been nailed down at the beginning.

This can cancel out the timeliness and whatever effectiveness originally intended.

For example, I get calls for rough cuts or related files of stalled projects months and years after they were shot because of the unfamiliarity with the process and  how to proceed.

Video archiving systems. This is where video projects go to die.

As video makes it’s inexorable entrance into the business world, I have been “renting my brain”  at brown bag luncheon meetings and conference calls and been having an enjoyable time doing it.
It’s a great way to help clients, potential and otherwise understand this new and unfamiliar terrain. Plus, it keeps me on my toes.

I cover everything from putting together a request for proposal, terms, gotchas and realities in the world of on-line video production.

So if video is on your horizon and you would like to get an idea on how to get started and what the vitals are regarding conception to execution. Let’s do launch.

Buy me a sandwich and I’ll follow you anywhere.

Reach and Frequency are advertising terms. It is also an issue I discuss with my urologist. But, I digress.

As we all know, reach is the number of different people who are exposed to an advertising message at least once.
Frequency is the number of times they are exposed to that same message.
A related term is coverage, which is the potential number of people exposed to a message.

As we move on line, we need to re-think our approach to reach, frequency and coverage. How we attract, educate and move (notice I didn’t say sell) our audiences, is critical, in an extremely cluttered environment. The herds are thinning in the pharmaceutical sales forces, access to physicians and thought leaders is evaporating. Direct to consumer is at an all time high which is driving most docs to distraction.
The relationships we have spent years nurturing have to be approached differently. This is where currently, the disconnect is. When I speak to clients about carefully building a database or list they will need in order to have a permission based conversation with their customers, they drop off and hold the course.
They continue to hold fast to what has always worked before because of the steps involved in building a carefully garnered list of people that might have an interest in hearing from them.
Which leads us to content. Content is king. I won’t go into my usual rant about static web sites and innocuous e-mails. Most web sites are repositories of company information that sit dormant for months or years. E-mail, with no customer specific messaging, the worst offender, is the antagonistic, annoying and by far the most destructive relationship ender.
It’s like calling a client up and having nothing to say. “I’m just checking”!

Pretty soon, when your number pops up on caller ID, they will stop answering.
Before you pull the trigger on that next e-mail blast think about how your audience will receive it. No, really think about it.
Reach, frequency and coverage are just numbers, the audience you’re communicating with are not. Don’t wear out your welcome. Remember, anticipated, relevant and personal.

“The party you have reached is unavailable….. please leave a message after the tone.”