To me, this is the lowest form of deceit. When you are conducting any type of transaction, be it business, an agreement of some sort, a sale of some type or a personal, possibly romantic relationship. It is so destructive as to be terminal. When someone you deal with in these situations deliberately leaves out critical information about a function you have empowered them to do based solely on trust and good faith, it ruptures the relationship and any further interactions. Forever.
You have to turn yourself into Clarence Darrow and cross examine this person, being careful to ask the right question in just the right way or the lights go out again. You’re in the dark and your paranoia grows exponentially. Worse if it’s a relative, either by blood or marriage. In this case, it is. The damage spreads quickly through the family and sides have to be chosen. Not a place you want to be. “You’re over reacting again” “He forgot” “You didn’t ask” “Why do you get so upset?”
I call it “being too cute by half.” If someone comes up with an out and out bullshit story about something that has no direct effect on you, have at it. It only means you have self esteem issues and you have to jazz your miserable existence up a notch. There’s meds for that. Take ’em.
I’ve always had a low tolerance for parents who will stand up for their kid even if there’s video of them killing someone. Or, “My country, right or wrong.” Blind love or just a mental position, it’s still bullshit. But that’s what I have to deal with now. But not for long.