Dear Mr. Gold

I’m writing in regard to an agreement we entered into about 6 months ago. I can see that you have been successful in billing my credit card every month to which I am relieved. But I am somewhat concerned that in all this time I still have not received my muscles. If there is some oversight, I understand you must be busy. But please expedite quickly as the burly tenant upstairs is making sexual advances and wanting to put me in disrepair over my Justin Bieber music.
Chuck Wagon

Please note: I welcome comments that are offensive, illogical or off-topic from readers in all states of consciousness.

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