All Together Now (The Bottom Feeders)


“I’d like to teach the world to sling..”

Anyone who knows me, knows that there are three things that make me shit house. Religion, politics and a certain species of blood sucker whose only goal in life is to make you rich. successful and happy. For a price. The motivational business guru business is still alive and well. Unfortunately.

I attended a two day Hay House presentation of “Movers and Shakers” a few years ago for aspiring geniuses who had hopes of building their own book writing, speaking and motivational platforms. Talk about winging it, they accomplished this feat with only nine sparsely populated slides, winks, nods and whole chapters of “The Secret.” Nice work if you can get it. They got it. Should have called it ” Movers and Shakedowns”

Every Monday morning the presses roll on their blog sites which they will happily deliver to you free of charge. Kinda. They’re usually hawking a book, a webcast, a one on one, or a page full of never before seen secrets to success like eating right, exercise, meditation, regularity and over coming rejection. Yes, you, (Dear, variable) have been chosen to join an elite staff of hand picked entrepreneurs who will converge on a secret location and topple the business world shoulder to shoulder with this brain trust from hell.

Screen Shot 2014-11-03 at 7.21.22 AM

An almost free copy?

I’m pretty sure they’re all related to each other. They certainly are well known to each other. Josh Linkner, Chris Brogan, Michael Hyatt, Marie Forleo. Louise Hay et al, fresh off the lot of HARPO Productions are just dying to help. As you can see, Tony Robbins is back after mouthing every known cliche in the universe and reviewed by, you guessed it, Michael Hyatt. They always review each other’s books (how handy) and name drop each other in their blogs. This is also called a “back scratch” or a “reach around,”  a term frequently used in most correctional facilities. Talking about, what else? Money! Success! Fame! Never thought of that before have I?

He must of been waiting in the dark for the next crop of illiterate, unemployed, annoying, clueless MBA’s that have never heard the “Master The Game” rap to pounce on. The cloying little seeds of doubt they employ to enrich themselves are so wide and varied it boggles the mind. They clearly never got over the demise of the self-help section at Borders.

I was  recently interviewed by of all things, a well known business psychiatrist. I will omit his name cause he didn’t try to manipulate me. After I backed my dump truck up and hit the release lever for an hour or so, he said, “you need to be a thought leader, a pundit, you clearly have the business experience and on-line video and marketing chops” Why don’t you get out there and share what you’ve learned. I just might do that but it won’t be pretty. Probably funny but not pretty.

Meanwhile the game rolls on and these highly paid head scratchers keep trying to come up with the next chink in your armor in the battle for your lizard brain.

Hey guys, here’s my take away. If you have nothing to say, then just say it. Please.

Please note: I welcome comments that are offensive, illogical or off-topic from readers in all states of consciousness.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published.