The Doughy Pant Load Syndrome

Age is looking to take you down. You can ignore this advice and be the funniest fat guy in the rehab or you can start training your human movement system to meet the rigors of nature, the pull of gravity and the adversities of life.

I’m 73,  I live in a retirement community and the view from here ain’t pretty. Some of it’s gruesome.

I’m here to tell you that a lot of bad stuff goes away when you pump oxygenated blood through your body. A lot of bad stuff goes away when you stress your muscles. And a lot of good stuff comes back to you when you do both.

When you do nothing, you are effectively standing naked in oncoming traffic.

The odds are not in your favor.

Are you looking to live this part of your life, or merely survive it?

I see men everyday in their mid-sixties dragging their time ravaged bodies into the supermarket looking for a motorized cart.

They are hunched over, they have soft, doughy asses, flabby arms, and bloated ankles. They’re not supposed to be there yet.

What if, God forbid, your circumstances change and you have to find work again? You can’t show up in a millennial world like your sides are about to retire.

You’ll be punching above your weight class in a world that gives shit none.

You need to be able…bodied.

Yeah, you can wear your war campaign baseball cap while your asking an employee to hand you down the cupcakes but you have already admitted to yourself and the whole world that you’re done.

You ain’t. The fat lady’s not even in the building yet.

It doesn’t have to be this way. I got the message at 70, when my chips were down. And I got ’em back. I was a stroke waiting to happen and I turned my body back into a machine. A bigger, leaner, stronger, machine.

Retirement is not the end of the struggle, it’s just the beginning. You gotta be up for it. Don’t leave your vitality and lust for life on the table.

Let me dispel a few myths that you might be entertaining: First, it ain’t a crap shoot. Your body will still respond to rigorous stimulation and resistance. No question.

You can still build a fabulous, rugged body. You can be a track star in your 70’s, 80’s and beyond. I’m living proof.

Older people get depressed because they don’t pump enough blood. They don’t run, they don’t jump, they don’t push. pull, pound or pillage.

Going to the supermarket isn’t foraging for food.

We are made to stress our bodies like our ancestors did, hunting and gathering, chasing and fleeing, and looking tough so other tribes couldn’t take our women.

You can have it all back but you gotta put the work in.

Man up I say. Don’t let today’s technology make you look like someone’s fat, toothless uncle.

Get yourself a Fitbit and get back in the game. You body will love you for it.

What I’m trying to say is, doughn’t be a pant load.  🙂

Please note: I welcome comments that are offensive, illogical or off-topic from readers in all states of consciousness.

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