I was going to guest on a local podcast about my experience as a Vietnam war veteran. The host put out a call for guests and I responded. When he read my bio he seemed very excited and sent me the requirements for my end of the remote conversation.

I checked his site out and saw that he’s just starting up and most of the content is just him speaking. Pretty dry. His last guest interview was with his wife.

As the date nears, I’m wondering why I don’t get a call from either him or his people. I tell my friend Wayne this is very strange behavior.

This is show business and I am no stranger. I’ve been around this business so long I am incapable of making a noise when I fart.

So on Wednesday, August 7, at 10:30 am, I put on my headset, set up my mic, and got ready for…nothing. At first I’m amused, then I’m confused, then, of course, I’m abused.

All that day, nothing. The next day, nothing. On the third day I write, “What happened?” He said, “I waited but you never showed up.”Where? His house? The mall?

I am a veteran of more cluster-fucks than I care to remember and this sent me over the top.

There’s something about some of these people out here in the desert and their lack of urgent professionalism that makes me beg for a warm needle and a glass of Saki.

So against my better judgement, which is how I know it’s the right thing to do, I sent him:

“Scott, I am put out. Sounds like you have a very casual operation. I did everything I was supposed to do. You were supposed to send me final instructions, which you never did. If I were you, I would have had a conversation with me to uncover things that would have made the show. Things like that matter in show business, which is what you are attempting. You never called to see what was up? I’ve been in music, comedy and video production for years, and I understand the value of having your shit together. A good producer would have been all over me. I have an incredible story, but you thought it was going to tell itself. If you are serious about your podcast you should do your homework about the talent you are trying to bring on. Until then, you should keep your day job.”

At least I got a blog out of it.