As if my ego wasn’t already thoroughly trounced when I got out to Arizona two years ago, I had to sit across from reprobates with tattooed faces, pierced foreheads, Marlboro breath, blank expressions and dressed like sadomasochistic bondage victims with gamey odor and gelatinous bellies.

A late afternoon interview in the Arizona heat could take years off your life.

And I was looking for a fucking job. It was like peeing into a fan.

Ageism exists. Let there be no doubt. They think you’re either senile, too hard to handle, or because they think they might have to pay you.

They give shit none about your wealth of business and worldly experience. Instead of hiring one professional for 150,000, they opt for five head scratchers at 30 grand a piece.

Management consists of anyone who can hang in there for six months. I watched a woman attempting to onboard 30 new fish with her finger up her ass. Phones weren’t allowed in the room or you’d be watching her dig for gold right now .

The things I bore witness to felt like a sharp stick in the eye. I threw my neck out once trying to look away too quickly when Bessie fell back in her chair. Ooh.

Employees are huge. Young people who can hardly walk. They don’t use a headcount at these places, they report tonnage. You know it’s lunchtime by which way the building is tilting.

I call it “remarketable” because you’re back in the market and you have to be remarkable. But it’s all uphill these days because nobody cares. So you really have to up your game.

I was once interviewed by Cox Cable by the wrong people in the wrong room for the wrong job for 90 minutes, before the right people for the right job escorted me to the right room.

You think I got the job?

You need to gather up your tools and go out on your own. It’s every man and woman for themselves these days.

If you think you’re not a number these days, you will be heavily escorted out of Verizon like I was.

You need to stay healthy and get resourceful. It takes nothing to start a Youtube channel today, throw up a quick web site and push your wares on Facebook, Instagram and LinkedIn.

I will be continuing this conversation because it’s a subject near and dear to my (broken) heart.

Remarketable, swish it around a few times until it feels right. It will.

Hang in there.

Please note: I welcome comments that are offensive, illogical or off-topic from readers in all states of consciousness.

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