All the gyms are desperate these days. They want you back. The only ones who benefit from a gym membership is them.

I worked for LA Fitness when I first moved out here. It’s MLM on steroids.

They hook you in January when you are feeling fat, guilty and full of resolve, then they don’t care if they see your face until the following January.

You feel good because you put the money down.

You’ve taken action.

Then you forget about it.

They know you will fall off the program, in fact they’re counting on it. They know once you sign up, life happens.

You gotta drive over there, you gotta change, you gotta wait for a machine, and then you have to go home and cook dinner.

It doesn’t work and they know it. (Oh, do they ever know it)

Yeah, you got a few random muscle heads smelling up the joint all day but that’s not the norm.

And you not being there is less wear and tear on their equipment. (Duh?)

With Covid, the machines will be placed so far apart you might as well be alone.

Here’s the way I see it:

Your body is your responsibility, not theirs. Walking, running, dancing, push ups, air squats, jumping jacks and stomach crunches cost exactly, ZIPPO!

Walking to work, taking the stairs and dancing with headphones on will tighten up any flabby ass. (Get a goddam Fitbit)

And let us not forget the stuffing of the face with reckless abandon. (Burp)

You can get yourself in amazing shape without all that ditzy, falsetto music blasting your head off.

Yeah, the big box gyms are fishing, but don’t take the bait.

This year, put on some sweats and turn up the stereo. It’s called personal responsibility.

I’m sure God would agree. 🙂