Drunks Say The Darndest Things

I know, I’ve said them all myself. I have a naive fascination with people who off themselves. Especially people with money. My thinking is, if you have steady income, something interesting to do, and you’re not working through a bad diagnosis, let’s carry on, shall we? Told you I was naive.

If you must check out, and you have a few bucks, why use a belt or a bathrobe? Why not slit ’em in a nice tub in a five star hotel? Or put one behind the ear from your gold-plated Smith and Wesson? The reason you don’t, in most cases, is your mind is altered. You’re fucked up.

Which brings us to the hapless, Tony Bourdain. Shown here throwing down moonshine shots for breakfast in Northern Thailand. I’ve been devouring “Parts Unknown” of late and you can hear our boy telegraphing his intentions to the world. And CNN, the leader in world news, didn’t hear it.

Here he is getting seriously smashed and the folks in post-production even find it necessary to alter Tony’s POV shot to make it look like he’s hallucinating. Thanks for the visual. Like we don’t know he’s wasted.

His job is to stay on the endless road with a camera crew and document his travels and travails. Almost every episode I’ve seen so far, he’s drinking. The guy is a recovering heroin addict. I say recovering, because drunks and addicts are always recovering. Always.

I wonder if CNN has a twelve step program.

When you’re a drunk or an addict, (no difference) your life is one long, uninterrupted rationalization. You are forced to insult your own intelligence on a daily basis.

So, while this surreal scene is taking place, Tony’s overdub is telling us that even though he’s drinking all the time on the road, he’s not an alcoholic because he never drinks at home. ??????

Isn’t that the darndest thing?

I bet he did it in the morning.



Please note: I welcome comments that are offensive, illogical or off-topic from readers in all states of consciousness.

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