Oh Susan!

Honey! What is wrong with you? How can you do this? Have you lost your senses? He was the only one who treated you right. He took care of you. He treated your kids right.

He took you off the street. I remember that dingy little condo. I was so worried about you.

All your life was one big drama with one low-life after another until he came along.

Let’s face it honey, the men you had in your life were no bargains. One of them actually scared me. You were living at poverty level. Your kids had no fathers, you were just stumbling along.

Your sister even offered to adopt them. She meant well but she can be a bit of a bulldog, that one.

He gave you nice cars, vacations, second homes, horses. He also paid for all those cosmetic surgeries only you and I know about.

Remember Rome? Remember Ireland? Remember Brussels? While he was busy working? And you weren’t?

I also know he loved you.

So the marriage ended. Well, that’s unfortunate but he shouldn’t be totally to blame. We both know you were never home. You were either at the barn all day, or down here with me.

He never complained.

Now you’ve decided to let him shoulder all the debt you both built up. Oh, dear.

I didn’t raise you to be like that.

And then all the credit card debt you both accumulated to get the house ready to sell. He gave you half of the proceeds up front. And then you stiff him? Susan, honey, think about that.

I think his credit might be ruined.

What concerns me most right now is the IRS. What if he goes to them and tells them what’s what? I don’t know why he hasn’t already. Doesn’t he have your social security number?

I would be very careful here. Half of that tax debt is yours, you know.

I won’t even go into that phony restraining order. Where did you come up with that? You could have ruined him forever. Frankly, I find that a little disturbing. That could come back to haunt you.

And did you really divorce him without his consent so he would be stuck with all those bills and to make sure he wouldn’t get any of the money I left you? Didn’t you get half of his 401K?

Did you really text him with “Heads up” on the divorce? Oh dear, this is getting distasteful. I’m sorry I brought it up.

You can do what you want, you always do, but I’m not comfortable with your behavior at the moment.

Honey, haven’t I always taught you to do the right thing?

Maybe you should come back to church.

Love, Mom.

Please note: I welcome comments that are offensive, illogical or off-topic from readers in all states of consciousness.

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