I Gave At The Office.

I came from nothing. I will return to nothing. I came from no money, crowded living, physical, sexual and religious abuse, alcoholism, drug addiction, incarceration, humiliation and hospitalization.

I wasn’t tough so I got attention by being funny. I was forced lived by my wits. Frankly, I was a riot!

In my sales career I learned to negotiate. I read “Emotional Intelligence” and “Machiavelli” end to end.

I learned when I was being sold a load of bullshit and when there was an honest effort.

When some Ivy Leaguer tried to give me a reach around because of my lack of formal education, it didn’t end well, for him.

In this picture I am cooling my heels as I’m trying to sell my $600,000 home to a doctor from New Dehli who is playing hard ball.

He tried every sleazy gambit from guilt to shame to feigning outrage. I shut it down.

I believe in any negotiation you have to be willing to walk, at all costs. Imagine the worst and go there. Always.

You have to not give a fuck. Unfortunately for him I didn’t any left to give.

He folded like a lawn chair and I got every cent I asked for. I would have cut him some slack if he wasn’t trying to rape me.

Always remember where you came from. And where you’re going. It’s a short jaunt from the womb to the tomb.

I heard a few years ago from my realtor that he said it was the most unpleasant experience of his life. Well, that’s nice to hear. But I really don’t give a fuck. 🙂

Please note: I welcome comments that are offensive, illogical or off-topic from readers in all states of consciousness.

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