Oh, you’ll do nicely!

I get a lot calls from all types of agencies, looking for video production companies like mine to lay off projects on, to provide the video services, as well as help develop ideas and strategies to their existing and potential customers. Seems to be a growing trend because my phone is ringing quite a bit lately. It’s usually some young person looking to secure my company in a hurry because they have some clients on the hook and now they have to reel them in. Oops!

They talk fast and want to move the process along quickly so they don’t get stuck having to answer some very basic client questions about which they have clue none. They keep putting me on hold to retrieve information they should have had readily available before they called my office. Get’s embarrassing. They also want you to think they’re pros at this and very critical questions are considered minor details.

When I ask for collaterals like logos, graphics or branding items, they usually tell me the will have to meet with their graphics team (which is usually some high school kid in a back room) to secure those items. If you’re a meanie like me, you might want to keep them on the line and make them sweat by asking them questions they should know. Imagine committing time and resources to some of these carnivals? Never mind, your money?

Bottom line: If you use an agency, PR or otherwise, and you go to them with help on a video or graphic design project, know this, most of them don’t know either. They get on the phone and call someone like me. I did some work for a local agency recently after I survived a five person grilling on a conference call. You would of thought I was going up against the parole board.

Frankly, I was intimidated and even a little defensive. Until I worked with them. They were calling all the shots until it started going off the rails. I was getting a rash. This was getting painful, but hey, they’re the pros I thought. Finally, the president called my house and told me to cut the shit and take over the project. She inferred that I knew they were really thrashing around and I was enjoying watching them choke on their own bullshit. I was.

I asked this kid once, for fun, if they would be using a “sky jack” on the shoot. He put me on hold and came back with, “yes, they will.” Hire a young person for twenty-five grand, call him an associate director, blow some smoke up their ass and stick him in a cube, then have a seat by the cash register. Now, that’s a plan. Bring some food and water with you. You’ll need it.

P.S. I like ’em stupid, too!