We’ve all heard the term “use it or lose it.” No, I don’t mean that, silly. Like any of your other muscles, your interviewing chops will atrophy if you don’t use them. Imagine getting on that career elevator with nothing to say besides “where’s the bread line?” Your Mojo has stopped working hasn’t it? Similar to “Always Be Selling,” which I find to be one of the most revolting terms I have ever gagged on. ( Zig Ziglar Zombies, enter your death threats in the comment section below)
At this point in your so called career, you are so far removed from the law of the jungle, you can’t even negotiate the lunch special at the company cafeteria. You’re so fat and plump and dumpy, you are starting to look and act like the character on Jackie Gleason’s “The Poor Soul.”
“The Poor Soul”
The grizzly truth is, old fighters, who are forced to get back in the game can make a few temporary bucks, but usually get their asses kicked. And it’s never pretty. They start training the day Don King makes the announcement. Regardless of the money involved, this will most likely be your last pay day and you won’t have enough marbles upstairs or mental capacity left to find the nearest Best Buy.
So, if you are so inclined, hang on for dear life to that fat bastard’s pant leg in HR or Employee Compensation, but he can’t help you any more. He has his own problems.
Self deprecation is not an effective strategy. My dog can roll over, too. Neither is jumping up on someone’s desk and proclaiming “Today is your lucky day!” If you’ve been on what I call ‘the back bench,” meaning the same monotonous job for the last ten years, this is your wake up call. If you can’t represent yourself without a lawyer, you’re in deep shit. Better call Saul.
Even if you are a CEO, you have no reason to do back flips. As a matter of fact, you’re probably the first to go. Most of the executives I encounter are so out of loop they park their cars (or bikes) in the handicap zones. They are so inundated, lost, jet lagged and punchy, they can’t even pick up on the last conversation.
I myself, have personally passed on so much breaking news to these harried, hurried and hustled, head bangers while conversing in the course of a shoot, I know, as soon as I leave, they’re going to pick up the phone and “WTF” all over the place because they were caught with their speedos down.
So, let’s get off the Drudge Report, TMZ or Angry Birds and start working that “Hustle Muscle.” Lay it out, plan and execute. Practice, “Who am I, what do I do better than anybody else, and who the hell do I think I am?
Survival and upward mobility is promised to no one and your teeth better be sharp enough to rip into some that ever dwindling carcass or you will find yourself at the end of the pack picking over the scraps.
You’re in the game for life whether you like it or not. Hit the gym cream puff and get out of that bread line, or everyone will be kickin’ yer ass!
Pass the butter, please.