The Swerve

I was taught a crazy technique on an abandoned airfield in Bryan, Texas a quarter of a century ago. It was a Dupont-sponsored safety course that included an evasive driving component developed for bodyguards of the rich and famous. No lie.

We spent three nights on those runways knocking over orange barrels and popping Dramamine. We were swerving and crashing into things until the sun came up.

This was a technically valuable but arduous course. It must have cost thousands. One of the nuggets I extrapolated for personal use was “The swerve”.

When you are on the highway, traveling at a high rate of speed, and you are roaring up on an obstacle like debris, a stalled vehicle, or someone purposely slowing down to detain you, instead of hitting the brakes, you stomped on the gas quickly and swerved your way out with your hands on the wheel at 3 and 9 o:clock. Scary. Bring a change of underwear.

It took a lot of nerve not to hit those brakes. But sometimes, it just felt… good. Know what I mean?

We actually believed Dupont didn’t give a shit if we ever sold anything, as long as we didn’t jeopardize the self-insured behemoth’s bottom line in an insurance case. (I left before they implemented the “seat belts on all toilets” program.)

I’ve changed the name of the technique to “balls to the wall” because it’s an extremely unfair negotiation tactic. When I feel like I’m being taken advantage of, I step on the gas. All bets go off. It has saved my bacon.

You just have to not give a shit at some point. You can’t be frightened and pissed off at the same time. Try it. No one wants to deal with the unreasonable. Because it works.

As the old blues players used to sing, “Be careful with a fool.”

Screech!

Please note: I welcome comments that are offensive, illogical or off-topic from readers in all states of consciousness.

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