Step right into our Junior Moose department:

I had a friend who I met 40 years ago. He was in such good shape he forced me to buy a pair of sneakers. Just by being the hunk that he was. Woman went mental over him.

Besides being a chick magnet, he was also a track star at the time. You know, the kind you love to hate.

As years went by, he let himself go. He gained about sixty pounds in fits and starts. As in, nothing fit, once he started eating.

A girl he was actually engaged to once didn’t even recognize him at a mall. Like two years later.

One day my friend goes to the doctor because he can’t seem to get out of his own way. He had a beauty in his hot tub late one night and he couldn’t pull his own uh, weight. (Cough)

So he panics and ends up in the waiting room the next day. Wouldn’t you?

His doc gets a look at his testosterone levels and tells him maybe he should stop by the dress shop on his way home. The doc tells my friend that his wife has more testosterone than he does.

They put him on hormone replacement therapy (HRT) and it ain’t helping. Because now he’s obese. He looks like he should be strumming a ukulele at a luau.

He’s so fat you can’t tell if his eyes are open and the back of his neck looks like a pack of Fenway Franks. If you bring up sex, he changes the subject.

I said all that to say this: fat causes an increase in estrogen, which causes a reduction in testosterone. That ain’t good fellas. We lose enough just getting older.

And as you know, life don’t get no easier.

So you have two options: either start training to lose weight and add some muscle, or go get your nails done.

It’s your call, sweetie. 🙂

Please note: I welcome comments that are offensive, illogical or off-topic from readers in all states of consciousness.

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