Murder On The Menu

I’ve been in kitchens since 1958. I cooked on trucks, ships, planes and battlefields.

I cooked for the mob, the government and the penitentiary.

I graduated from the The Chef’s Training Institute in Boston and worked some of the finer establishments on the East coast.

I have been around and have my AA membership card to prove it.

I am also a certified nutritionist and a fitness professional.

I love the food game but it has its pitfalls.

The caliber of what goes for the title of “Chef” these days leaves a lot to be desired.

You can be experiencing the finest cuisine in the dining room, while knuckles are being dragged back in the scullery.

Which leads me to what I’m still brooding about.

I was a food runner at a local country club, a job I enjoyed very much.

I was working doubles, which was demanding, but I could easily handle it.

On this particular Friday night, the fried fish special was really taking off.

So the sous chef, a bully in his own right, started raising hell and making threats. Nothing unusual.

This time it’s at me and it’s personal. Guess I wasn’t moving fast enough.

Now, he’s got a 78 year old white guy who he has no respect for in his sights and he’s off to the races.

He threatened to put me in the hospital, break every bone in my body and maybe even shoot my dog.

He didn’t let up. You could hear it in the dining room.

It went on for at least twenty minutes.

I’m thinking, “I’ve been through hell and back in my long life and now I’m gonna meet my end in a dingy kitchen with a range fork up my ass?”

When it blew over, he was all apologies and asked for my forgiveness and my understanding.

I, of course, agreed and when he walked away I put my French knife back in the drawer.

Fool me once….

Bob O'Hearn