Obfuscation. That’s what is. Who do you people think you are? The job market has gone off the rails. I told my next door neighbor I would mow his lawn for him as a favor. He sent me an assessment.

What is this, some kind of trial by fire? You don’t look at this stuff, you just wanna see how bad we want the job. If any of these questions were pertinent, I might understand. I didn’t move your goddam cheese, OK?

There’s a guy in town that does small business marketing. He sent me an assessment. Something John Hinckley might have to fill out. His marketing materials looks like he does his best work with a box of crayons and two hits of acid.

And he’s assessing me?

Sometimes when you’re an hour into one of these nutty things, you realize you’re being had, but you’re too far gone.

It’s bad enough you’re unem-friggin-ployed, but now Dr. Phyllis is giving you the old reach around.

You people should store your assessments in a cool dry place.

Today, not only did I stop the nonsense after an hour of my valuable time, I sent the woman who forwarded it to me a note. Under no circumstances would I continue. Bye.

She called me. She used her actual human voice. She was defending her rope-a-dope. In condescension.

She said “good luck to you getting a job in this town, those assessments are a valuable tool in our hiring process.”

In this company we value unwavering leadership, creativity, innovation and independence.

“I sent you that assessment to uncover what type of an individual you truly are. We’re looking for leaders, independent thinkers who seeks their own counsel.

“And…. it’s what other companies are doing.”