Free Fall


Single at seventy. Who’d a thunk? Actually, me. I’ve always been single, at least in my mind. Never had kids. Being the oldest of ten cured me of that. Always been a loner, kept my own counsel and usually minded my own business. Just had to find that someone who would put up with my isolationist world view. Did that. Now, everything I own is in a POD in Nashua, NH, percolating and waiting for orders.

I live, for now, in a small apartment with two little dogs, a bike, a guitar and my trusty computer. Gone are the trappings that damn near choked the life out of me. Two houses, three cars, enough computer and camera equipment to staff Fox News. What is it they say about boys and their toys?

There is a lightness in my step these days. The weight of all that responsibility having been shuffled during my long overdue stay at a VA Rehab. I moved from there to a hotel until I could get my bearings and then I started the long slow process of finding me again. I must admit to being shaky at first and disoriented for sure.

Being yanked off of alcohol and Xanax is no small feat. Done hastily or incorrectly, the Xanax by itself could have put me down. My blood pressure was testing its limits at that time.  I was in stroke territory most of that period. While I was there, my life and everything in it was being reshuffled. I awoke to a new reality. Today.

 Being single, once it gets out, is a very interesting place to be these days. Women in my demographic do not play games. There is no flirty gamesmanship, no eye batting behind a nervous smile. Time seems to be a’wastin’.

I am probably in the best physical condition of my life. I take each day as it comes and that means taking nothing for granted. I battled doctor prescribed anxiety meds as well as muscle relaxers and sleep medication for years. If I can survive that…

I was a nine on the misery index. Glad to get that “jones” off my back. Who knows what life has in store? Beats me, I’m still falling.

Please note: I welcome comments that are offensive, illogical or off-topic from readers in all states of consciousness.

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