My Evil Plans for 2016


I’ve hit the wall. My last corporate video production (I hope) was an exercise in bad taste and miscommunication. Seems they’re still not teaching logical, empathy driven content marketing in college yet, so creativity and common sense takes a back seat to last minute impulses and neck snapping edits. Then I have to (try) to clean up the mess.

It’s not a pretty sight to see a grown man crying and spitting on his computer screen at 2:00 am, Until it ends with a whimper at daybreak. Back in the casket, Bob.

Yeah, I pulled it off but at what cost? I kept some intern or AA busy and out of trouble for two weeks? Even my dogs won’t come near me when I’m in lock down mode at zero hour. My wife says she’s going to get me one of those chairs they use on boat decks to land marlin or tuna.

My friends are always telling me how cool it must be to not have to clock in at the same place every day and do your best work in your underwear. Well, it’s not always the case. It can get lonely and stressful and of course, the studio beckons all day. It seems the hurrier I go, the behinder I get.

To make things slightly more complicated, as I age, I suffer fools less lightly. Last week I asked someone if they were high after they laid out their vision and said “let’s just shoot it”. In this business, no matter what you charge, it’s usually not enough. You can’t price out loss of gray matter.

So here comes 2016. No more one night stands. I’m going to hold out for an agreement that covers a certain period of time and become part of an organization on a contractual or consultative basis. That way I can help them build from script to screen. (Most places there is no script.) I provide the studio, you provide the space and let’s start cooking.

So all you would-be producers and directors can put your canvas chairs back in the broom closet because this year, I won’t be down for breakfast.

Please note: I welcome comments that are offensive, illogical or off-topic from readers in all states of consciousness.

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