Lately, I’ve been wondering where I would be today if I hadn’t decided to twist off the cap on that Bud Light on Mother’s Day, 2016.
Would I still be telling preposterous stories to all the docs in my sphere of uh, influence, that I accidentally left my Zoloft, Xanax, Ambien, Soma and Percocet prescriptions in a hotel while on one of my numerous, “mostly fictitious”, business trips?
Twisting that cap after 40 years at my age, 70 at the time, and under those prescribed circumstances was a dangerous, foolhardy and careless undertaking.
But I thought about it and proceeded with the least amount of caution. The combination of those drugs and alcohol would surely stroke me up to take me out.
What made me do it? It wasn’t clairvoyance, I can assure you. I didn’t know I would turn into a muscle-loaded track star, sans 45 pounds, certified in all aspects of strength, fitness, and nutrition that marveled at the sight of his own feet after twenty years.
It was frustration and bitterness at my plight. My business and my marriage were tanking and I saw no reason not to numb my senses.
I also didn’t know how inextricably bound the success of my marriage was to the success of my business. Funny how that works.
Therein lies the twist.
The terrifying and heartbreaking series of events that took place thereafter changed me forever.
I am now a healthy, clear thinking, (up for debate) grateful elder athlete (73) who is now more productive and creative than ever. Instead being dumbed-down by alcohol and orange bottles.
What would have happened if I hadn’t twisted my own, fate? I try to avoid those kind of thoughts. No time for that.
I did what I did though and I’m grateful I won’t ever have to make that decision again.
One does wonder, though.